Christian

Talked to Christian tonight on Skype and I just found out that he'll be longer than we'd expected. I was so excited about seeing him in a week and it's hard for me to understand why there have to be so many delays but I refuse to give in to defeat and doubt. God help me believe! I want so much to be one of those women of faith that believes without any thread of evidence, without any rescue call, without a deadline to look forward to. I want to trust just because I love Jesus and I want to give him that compliment, that I know He will work everything out perfectly for me and the precious ones I love. I don't know when I'll see Christian again but I know Jesus knows so I'll stay closer to Him than I ever have before to hear the first breath of news regarding his return. It's been 2 months now that we've been apart so I'm looking forward to Valentine's Day with all my heart. Wynter talks to him on Skype whenever I do and she dances as he sings to her through the huge earphones. "Five green speckled frogs sat on a speckled log eating some most delicious bugs--yum, yum! One jumped into a pool where it was nice and cool, now there's only four green speckled frogs." That's her favorite and when I ask her what she thinks of her Papa she tells me "peckled frogs, Mama!" She's worth it all. When your almost 2 year old wakes up in the morning and the first thing she does is grab your face with both her hands and says "I luf you, Mama"-- that is life. I have so much to be thankful for. Wanna hear the lyrics to the song I wrote to Christian on Christmas Day? It goes like this:

I'll Stay

Holding back tears,
Thinking of years we spent so well together,
Wondering why
At this special time we have to be apart.
He's the One who gave me to you,
I wanna be in your arms,
But He'll hold me as He always has,
My emotions feel disarmed...

Chorus:
But I'll stay
For He is the Way, the Truth & my very life,
If His will is for me to fill my whole heart with Him than I'll try,
To be
His eyes & to see the hurt souls He's pleading for,
"They say distance makes the heart grow fonder",
It's true, I love you more,
I can't wait 'til you walk through that door.

At my weakest, trembling knees test ground they haven't felt,
I have never felt the level of prayer my soul just dealt,
I'm here leaning on Him, weaning myself off of the facts,
Impossible won't be an option, on blind faith I will act.

Repeat Chorus til you have the faith to believe :)

Have a wonderful Thursday, everyone!