I made a decision today that this would be my last blog entry. That I would complete the last 10 months or so of blogging with a sweet and simple goodbye, thank you for viewing part of my life kind of thing. But after reading Nyx's poetry on her site I realized that we can be a help to each other in this blogging world.
I don't like being exposed. I don't know if you've noticed but I haven't put as much depth into this blog as I could. I've tried to keep it very simple and basic with just enough information to post a photo or two. The thing is, I don't want this to be an "info-site" about my life. I get tired of explaining what I've done this week and what I plan to do in the next week or coming months. Who is to say what's gonna happen in the coming months or even tomorrow for that matter? Only God knows and I will leave it in His capable hands. That said, I feel free of the burden of telling others what I'm up to--because as everyone knows, life isn't all "write-worthy", right? I mean, do you feel that everything you did last week is worth a jot in the diary or a post on the good 'ol blog? Well, if so, that's good --you're amazing. :) As for me, if I do continue to blog it's going to be my feelings, my heart, experiences that have touched me and that will hopefully touch you if possible. All that to say, goodbye boredom, hello life! I want to be brave enough to write what I truly feel, to expose the hidden words that are me and freely admit that I am no angel. So for those of you opposed to a few poetic lines, the exit is found in the upper-most right hand corner of this page, marked by an X bordered by red (in most cases.)
Below you'll find a poem I wrote recently. Ever felt this way before? ....
It hurts to love someone so much when they've hurt you so bad,
To have to stay in touch because such history you've had,
To remember things about them that make you laugh and cry,
And then remember that they broke your heart, you could just die.
Where do you draw the line between forever and enough?
When do you tell them that they've gone too far, you're not that tough,
When is the time to ask forgiveness for harboring this pain?
Do you tell them now or wait a while till it's plain?
I know I love them, that is not the question I explore,
I know I'll laugh when they exude the humor they're made for,
I know they'll touch my heart with just their smile and kind words,
Why do I have to hurt so much? The past is so absurd.
I want to live tomorrow with yesterday cut out,
But then I'll lose the happy times it's great to think about,
What do I do, do I forget or keep this all inside?
I want to know so I can leave the heartache where I hide,
I want to give I don't want to be stuck on what's been dealt,
Tell me please, should I release the pain I have long felt?
J.W. July 1st, 2007
15 comments:
well written Julie. Dont stop blogging though and putting pics of your cute family. You look like such a happy bunch. xxx
Don't stop blogging, Julie! I'll miss you forever. *sniff!*
Love the poem. It touched me in a place well-hidden from the world...
ILY!
Awww, you guys are too good. Thank you for your love. OXOXO
Julz the poem is gorgeous man you really have a gift from god to write songs and poems they´re all gorgeous. And you´re not gonna stop blogging are you ? Please don´t cus every thing that you write and all of the pics that you put up alwase encourage me and remind me of you guys any way send love to all XOXOXO -Laura
That poem is beautiful,so real, honest, and completely familiar.
You're blog will be missed, although I understand very well the struggle between exposing yourself and keeping things GP. From a spectators view it's so refreshing to see a little vulnerability though - it's so human and so real. If feels like we don't get enough of that in the blog world. Which is both the reason I lurk on Nyx's blog, and the reason I loved (loved, loved) your poem.
;)
hard not to relate to something so honest! Do keep blogging. ILY!
Sista, I know you wrote that poem for me!! :D Te quiero mucho canchita linda! Keep blogging, I like seeing your life, its worthwhile. :D
Beautiful poem!!!
Love and miss you!
oh no julie you cant stop blogging i mean i dont care much about what you do each day its just i love coming on your blog and looking at the pictures of you guys it makes me sooo happy and to see your beautiful smile i dont know theres somthing about it that just encourage me and makes able to go on with my day and just helps me soo much sigh you just cant stop blogging. oh and btw the poem was beautiful i loved it
I am utterly touched by all of your comments and I want to hug each one of you, thank you so much. You all have such true blue souls and I hope to be able to tell you that in person some day. Miss you and give you my love in prayers.
XOXOXO, Julie
know how you feel about the blogging bit...i find it hard to keep up w/ my blog too & am also contemplating quitting......but I guess we'll see...
OH & the poem is truly inspired...i loved it...& can relate. xox
That is such a beautiful poem!
Love you Marz, are you feeling better? We've been praying for you a lot. Ruth, I need to visit your blog soon--I've been negligent. :) XOXOXO
Oh no, you can't put down this great post and then say it's your last one, ha!
The darker experiences you go through are what make the light even brighter. Self-inflicted exposure is hard, but there's a certain freedom found in it.
Your poem is sad but it touches deeply and that's the kind we humans need. Love you!
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