What's going down--or up??

The Lord just did a miracle for us that makes me wonder just how blind I've been to His love all along. He really does love me. It's hard for me to grasp because I'm a pessimist of sorts when it comes to believing in myself. Have you ever felt that way before? Like you would do anything to make someone else believe in the gifts they've been given, the mercy they're entitled to and the joy that is theirs to explore but when it comes to yourself and your adequacy and intelligence--yeah, let's just say you're spent. Well, this is where that ends and I'm thankful to say I'm acknowledging His presence in my life. I'm noticing it more and more and I'm realizing that every good and precious gift comes from up above and He cares about me despite the fact that sometimes I don't .
Well, the above mentioned miracle is that we have paid the deposit on our new home--for a year anyway, since that is what rental deposits usually entail. I have to say this home is near perfect and such a gift of the Lord's love that I almost fell over. The house is 4 bedrooms, 2.5 bath's--huge kitchen, huge living room and hardwood floors with a deck on the side of the house that Christian plans to add to and last but not least, consider the following:
What we view from the windows of our new home: A large lake with a 2 1/2 mile walking/running trail wrapping around it. A mini-olympic pool w/ diving board bordering the lake. 5 darling playgrounds in the subdivision. Tons of trees and forestry surrounding everything. The Chattahoochee river (which I've learned to spell from spell check) running through our neighborhood with one of the large pools in the community overlooking it in a pristine, snobby way. :) All of this and more for a price that is less than what we were looking at spending! Crazy--but delightful. "Jesus is here, He's here right now. Jesus is here and I'll tell you how. Jesus to know is heaven below. Jesus is here, He's here right now."
Love you, want to tell more but I don't know where to start, help me with questions. Muah! XOXO!

Decisions

I made a decision today that this would be my last blog entry. That I would complete the last 10 months or so of blogging with a sweet and simple goodbye, thank you for viewing part of my life kind of thing. But after reading Nyx's poetry on her site I realized that we can be a help to each other in this blogging world.
I don't like being exposed. I don't know if you've noticed but I haven't put as much depth into this blog as I could. I've tried to keep it very simple and basic with just enough information to post a photo or two. The thing is, I don't want this to be an "info-site" about my life. I get tired of explaining what I've done this week and what I plan to do in the next week or coming months. Who is to say what's gonna happen in the coming months or even tomorrow for that matter? Only God knows and I will leave it in His capable hands. That said, I feel free of the burden of telling others what I'm up to--because as everyone knows, life isn't all "write-worthy", right? I mean, do you feel that everything you did last week is worth a jot in the diary or a post on the good 'ol blog? Well, if so, that's good --you're amazing. :) As for me, if I do continue to blog it's going to be my feelings, my heart, experiences that have touched me and that will hopefully touch you if possible. All that to say, goodbye boredom, hello life! I want to be brave enough to write what I truly feel, to expose the hidden words that are me and freely admit that I am no angel. So for those of you opposed to a few poetic lines, the exit is found in the upper-most right hand corner of this page, marked by an X bordered by red (in most cases.)
Below you'll find a poem I wrote recently. Ever felt this way before? ....


It hurts to love someone so much when they've hurt you so bad,
To have to stay in touch because such history you've had,
To remember things about them that make you laugh and cry,
And then remember that they broke your heart, you could just die.
Where do you draw the line between forever and enough?
When do you tell them that they've gone too far, you're not that tough,
When is the time to ask forgiveness for harboring this pain?
Do you tell them now or wait a while till it's plain?
I know I love them, that is not the question I explore,
I know I'll laugh when they exude the humor they're made for,
I know they'll touch my heart with just their smile and kind words,
Why do I have to hurt so much? The past is so absurd.
I want to live tomorrow with yesterday cut out,
But then I'll lose the happy times it's great to think about,
What do I do, do I forget or keep this all inside?
I want to know so I can leave the heartache where I hide,
I want to give I don't want to be stuck on what's been dealt,
Tell me please, should I release the pain I have long felt?
J.W. July 1st, 2007

Saturday night fun. Wynter was being tickled so she disappeared into the picture.

So much to say, so few brain cells.....

It feels like we've been here forever but we only just got here a little over a week ago. I just finished reading over my past posts and it's amazing what life is like. --Full of variety, exploration, discovery and surprise. I told myself (& numerous others) when I got to Guatemala that I wouldn't be moving for a LONG time. Mistake #1: Don't talk to yourself. Hahah, no, I'm kidding. Talking to yourself can be healthy.... I think.
Anyway, Willy loves lizards. I posted about that a few times but this is where it gets good. He left a few of his prime catches with Danny when we left but he insisted on taking Mr.Right with him. Mr.Right is a baby Helmeted Lizard (I spelt that wrong in my other post about him). Willy guesses he was 4 weeks old when we left. As most of us know, it is generally illegal to transport animals, food & other things that belong to another country when you're trying to cross a border. Willy kept Mr.Right in a Tupperware container with a slit in the top for air, a branch of the tree he was on when he was captured and a little water sliding back and forth on the bottom. Even though he tried to make things as cushy as possible for his precious little find, Willy still had an unquenchable fear that we would be harrassed by the border patrol and that Mr.Right would be confiscated by those who we'll call the Mr. Wrongs. It was delicious to watch Willy tremble and squirm in his back seat, alongside Wynter who watched him intently as he begged God to let him keep his lizard and cross the border unnoticed. It was genuinely hilarious to see Willy confessing all his past mistakes and begging God to forgive the sins he had so unwittingly committed--all of this to keep Mr.Right right where he belongs, on Willy's lap. Oh dear.
Anyway, the picture above is of Willy with Mr.Right just seconds after the kind, cuddly border patrol guy waved us through into Los Estados Unidos without incidence. :) The first pic is Wynter's budding photography--me smiling nervously as she finally pushes the right button. Another pic is Wynter wearing Willy's new fashion find: a fresh diaper hat. The last pic is of 2 best friends, Wynter Jane and her Papa, soaking up the love that Jesus has so fully poured down on us. We love you all, stay tuned for more of our adventures....every day is getting better! XOXO!

Love you, Laura!